We're Not Perverted
by Animerulzs1267
Summary: Kiku, Elizabeta and Francis all live in one apartment room. All three love yaoi, which means boyxboy romance. But that is when they saw their neighbors from their window doing something sexy! The more they watched, the more danger was brought to the edge of Alfred feeling watched! What will the Yaoi Fan Trio do? Rated T, USUK, HunPanFra Parody.


**I'm sorry I'm late on this, but I hope you guys enjoy this! It took a while to make this, and the word count is really long, but I hope you guys like this story about the yaoi trio! Yes, they have a name like Bad Touch Trio! **

* * *

_We're Not Perverted_

It was a cool, nice day where the sun was shining goldenly and the skies brimmed with fluffy white clouds. Kiku Honda was in his room, sketching his chapter in the middle of have making love. He had done sketch like that many times and was very detailed on his work, but depressingly he had artist block.

Outside, his window slowly brought morning like in and showed his bedroom was a clean, well-organized despite the mess of crumbled rejected arts that scattered the floor. Kiku rubbed his right eye and placed his pen down on incomplete work. Kiku got up and walked over to the door, disregarding the floor's paper covered trash and gave a yawn once he left.

Going down the small hall and entering the kitchen was when the magic really happened for Kiku Honda, for he was to rid his horrid artist block with an incredible view.

Elizabeta, wearing only her green military sleeping attire was tiringly liming in a daze. Yawned while scratching her backside, she noticed Kiku in the kitchen and smiled while he was occupied finding his tea box in the cupboards. She decided that the living room needed light for Kiku to see, so she went up to the nearby windows and opened one of them.

Suddenly, while opening one of them, Elizabeta's eyes opened widely when she opened the third one. She thought at first it was her mind playing tricks, but she squinted and realized her mind _was _on the right track!

She gasped a deep, wheezy-like gasp and stood still like a frozen statue. Elizabeta's hands were on the curtains whilst Kiku found the tea box. He looked in the little box, three remaining green leafs left. That was enough to make only one cup for him.

However, as he was about to make his morning drink, he heard strange breathing sounds that came from the windows. That was when he saw Elizabeta near the window.

_Elizabeta-san? _said Kiku whose temporary blurred eyes noticed her looking out the window. _What is she doing? Is there something going on outside?_

Curiously, Kiku placed the box down the counter and escorted himself to his friend who was in a complete daze. He tapped her shoulder which got her to show her first reply: a swatting hand at Kiku, indicating: 'Go away; I'm in the middle of something'.

"Elizabeta-san, daijoubu desu ka?"

It got her attention where she looked over her shoulder and saw her good friend.

She grinned manically. "Kiku, you have got to see this!" she hissed excitedly.

"What…is it, Elizabeta-san?" asked Kiku timidly.

"Just come over here and look!"

Kiku looked over Elizabeta's shoulder and examined the other side of the apartment. The other side was where his brother and his roommate, a Russian man named Ivan, lived together and thought it was that window. However, the curtains were closed.

"I don't see-"

Right then, his eyes were wandering around the curtain-opened windows he noticed something that made his jaw drop with a trail of drool suddenly leaking off his left side mouth.

"Is that Alfred-kun?" Kiku asked.

"Yeah, and he's doing it with Arthur!" squealed Elizabeta happily.

"Ohmygod!" said Kiku. "I-I cannot believe they are doing it now!"

"Doing what?" someone behind asked.

Elizabeta and Kiku looked over their shoulders and saw Francis walking over with only his baby-blue pants and no shirt.

"Look, it's Alfred and Arthur!" they both said simultaneously and pointed

"Que?" said Francis who quickly went to Elizabeta's side. Francis' jaw dropped immediately. "Sont-ils en train de faire ce que je pense qu'ils font?"

Kiku and Elizabeta took a moment glance at Francis and asked, "What?"

Francis sighed and spoke in English. "Are they doing what I think they are doing?"

"Yes, they are!" said Elizabeta. "Feast your eyes upon the greatness that was born to concur the world with its greatness!"

"I think my artist block is finally gone!" said Kiku joyfully. "I can bring my manga to the next level, all thanks to Alfred-kun and Arthur-san! I must credit them for their kindness."

Francis and Elizabeta nodded in agreement, smiles all around as their faces were plastered on the transparent window. They watched the lewd love making in action with desirable drools for they deeply wished to take a closer look. This was, however, they closest they could view the passionate magic.

* * *

Alfred looked down into Arthur's eyes, filled with lust and love and delicious passion. They were at the brink of finishing themselves, holding onto one another to make the pain less agonizing. However Alfred felt something peculiar was wrong, as if someone...was watching. Then Alfred remembered that they were doing it in the bedroom, that it had a window above the bed where sunlight would gradually come to parade its sunshine inside.

That would mean someone had a perfect view to spy.

* * *

"Does anyone not notice Alfred looking...suspicious?" Francis asked.

"Yeah, his pacing is getting bad..." Elizabeta said.

Kiku stepped back a pace. "Ano, I think it would be good to-"

Too late, Alfred looked up from his window and his jaw, unpleasantly, dropped in horror. They saw Arthur sticking his head up but suddenly Alfred took his attention to his partner and pushed his whole body into him!

"Oh, crap! Al knows we're watching them!" cried Elizabeta.

"Kiku, what should we-?"

Elizabeta and Francis realized Kiku already left without their knowledge. Both heard a slam of his door, and then a massive slam opening the door to reveal Kiku with his notebook under his arm and a suitcase.

"Kiku, what are you doing?"

"I am leaving," he said casually. "I will not die until I publish my manga, then I shall face Alfred-kun in battle."

"This isn't an action movie..." Francis said. "And if you can, can you please not leave us. I don't like the idea of being alone."

Elizabeta looked up at him unhappily. "What, you're scared of a battle if Alfred comes?"

"Oui, I don't do battling! I do fashion, make-up, I do match-making! How do you think I got that scone idiot with that hamburger guy? It took dedication to make those to even _stay in a room_ _together!_"

"I do not care, this is important for me. I will go and die a thousand blades in my heart, I will suffer long and torturous tortures, but I will not go down without publishing my last issue!"

Elizabeta got up straight, a fist on her chest to indicate deep dedication to Kiku's words.

"Kiku... as much as I wish to say those are the most honorable words ever, but I have to say those explicit things you said were scary but awesome."

Wait, awesome?

"I must carry on, for I shall-"

"Uh, I do not know if this is important," Francis said, "but I just saw Alfred putting on some clothes and left the apartment. I think he is, as Americans say, _pissed._"

Kiku's brown eyes widened, but he managed to bow to both of his friends and rushed out the front door. Thankfully, ten minutes after his departure, Alfred from outside was knocking on the door rather loudly. Francis was doing what any French person would do: prancing around like a pee-holding person as Elizabeta ran over to her room and brought out a sword!

"What are you going to do with that?" screeched Francis, fearing for the inevitable.

"I'm doing what any fangirl would do," Elizabeta said bravely. "I am going down with a fight."

Elizabeta, with her heavy wielding sword, marched over to the front door and reached for the doorknob.

"Wait for moi, I need a weapon, too!" Francis said who rousingly went to his bedroom.

Hearing the door being pounded like thunder made Elizabeta's stomach wrenched in pain. The battle would begin in any minute! Francis hurriedly went to Elizabeta's side with a pillow, earning a 'are you freaking kidding me' look by Elizabeta. Francis only shrugged in his defense.

"Okay," said Elizabeta. "Are we ready?"

"Oui, mon ami."

And with that, Elizabeta put her hand on the doorknob and gave a hard twist. The battle started with a great battle cry...and a girly cry from Francis

* * *

"Elizabeta-san, Francis-kun," Kiku said, showing great sadness on his face and holding a vase of daffodils. "I'm so sorry that this happened to you guys. I should have been there to fight alongside."

Elizabeta and Francis were taken to the hospital after their fight with Alfred, which ended in the landlord calling the police and having all three sent to the ambulance. Thankfully, there were only minor injuries since Elizabeta's sword broke in the process. Elizabeta only had a broken arm, but Francis had the most injuries that were so severe he needed a full body cast.

Elizabeta only smirked. "At least you managed to finish your manga, right?"

Kiku nodded, a small smile on his face.

"In fact," he said, "I brought the copies for both of you."

Kiku had a shoulder bag with him, he placed the flowers next to Francis' side and took the books out. Elizabeta squealed and Francis mumbled something in glee, shaking his body as if he wanted to dance. He gave Elizabeta the first one which she took with her good left arm, Francis however was unable to read the book. So, Kiku placed it on top of his chest. He mumbled thank you as a response.

"Well, today ended in a good note," said Elizabeta who began to read the book in delight.

"Yes, it did. Ano, where is Alfred-kun?"

"He was well enough to leave. Just between us, he had more love scars than battle ones, if you asked me." she smirked once again as she continued to read.

Kiku and Francis glanced at each other, but they both snickered to which the Yaoi Fan Trio burst into laughter.

* * *

**Japan: So, he had more bruises from Arthur?**

**Hungary: Yep, I tore his shirt by accident and there were some...that were old AND recent. **

**France: I had no idea Arthur was so wild! I need some of that! **

**Hope you enjoyed the famous Yaoi Fan Trio! Please review and enjoy this fanfic! **


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